This Smells Like Gwyneth Paltrow's Bumhole Scented Candle

Ever wondered what Hollywood royalty’s rear might smell like? No? Well, too bad, because now you can experience it in all its artisanal, ethically sourced, hand-poured glory.

This candle isn’t just a conversation starter - it’s a conversation ender. Infused with notes of smug self-satisfaction, organic kale, and just a hint of Oscar-winning privilege, it’s the perfect gift for anyone who enjoys a good whiff of the absurd.

Handmade with only the finest wanky ingredients, this candle burns slow - just like the realisation that you’ve spent a pony on something so utterly ridiculous.

Light it up, breathe deep, and pretend you, too, can afford a lifestyle curated by overpriced wellness nonsense.

Disclaimer: This is a novelty item, and doesn't actually smell like Gwyneth Paltrow's bumhole, but of precious woods, amber and oud, with ylang ylang, tree blossom, grapefruit, raspberry, orange peel and log smoke.

Our hand-poured vegan paraffin scented wax candles offer a high quality finish, clean burn, and good fragrance throw.

• 30cl vessel
• 40 hour burn time
• Height 93mm, Diameter Top 81mm, Diameter Bottom 76mm