New Balls Please T-shirt

At Wimbledon, the umpire calls for new balls every nine games. This is standard procedure. It ensures consistent bounce and fair play throughout the match.

That's the official explanation.

It is also, undeniably, four words that mean something else entirely the moment they leave the umpire's mouth, and every single person on Centre Court knows it, and nobody has ever once laughed, because that would not be very Wimbledon.

We're laughing.

This shirt is for everyone who has sat through a tense five-setter and heard those words and had to physically compose themselves.

New balls please.

Every nine games.

Strawberries optional. Composure not guaranteed.