Mardi Bastard Mug

Start yer day wi’ a brew that screams “don’t talk t’me, I’m already hacked off”. This isn’t just a mug, it’s a lifestyle statement. Perfect fer tea, coffee, Bovril, or summat stronger when yer tolerance fer humanity’s worn thin.

As spotted in:

• Break rooms where nobody makes eye contact.
• Caravan holidays wi’ permanent drizzle.
• Kitchens where kettle’s always on but nobody’s happy.

Customer Reviews:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"Finally, a cup that matches my resting face. Milk tastes moodier too."
— Alan, 47, Huddersfield

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"Took it into work, now nobody asks me to cover their shift. Life-changing."
— Denise, 31, Leeds

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
"My brews taste 63% more exotic, but wi’ same undertone o’ despair. Love it."
— Kev, 29, Donny

⚠️ WARNING: Mug may cause relatives to say “cheer up, it might never happen”, at which point mug can double as throwable projectile (not recommended by manufacturer).