Liberty, Conified T-shirt

America's hud that statue staunin there since 1886. Torch up in the air. Lookin dead serious aboot freedom an aw that.

Scotland turns up fur the World Cup and within aboot forty minutes she's got a cone oan her heid, a Scotland strip oan, and a saltire hingin aff the plinth like somebody's granny's good tablecloth oot fur a special occasion.

This isnae vandalism.

This is a welcome.

Back hame we've hud a cone oan the Duke of Wellington's heid since the eighties and the council's lang since gied up tryin tae stop it. It's basically listed noo. Lady Liberty's just gettin the same treatment, except she's hud tae wait a hundred and forty year fur somebody tae finally show her some proper attention.

She's wan ae us noo.

Naturalised. Adopted. Tartan and aw.

She'll qualify fur nothin, get beat aff somebody the size ae her thumb, and still be the maist loved statue in America by full time.

HONORARY SCOT.

Optimism, carbonated. Liberty, conified.

She's got the fear in her eyes and the torch in her haun and we couldnae be prouder ae her, so we couldnae.