Angry Robin Christmas Sweatshirt

Introducing the sweater that captures the true spirit of December according to the one creature who’s had quite enough of your seasonal nonsense. The design features an absolutely livid robin, mid-tirade, delivering a speech so honest it could melt tinsel.

Printed across the fabric is its full, majestic, festive meltdown:

“Oh brilliant, it’s Christmas again. My favourite time of year... SAID NO ROBIN EVER. Every December, the humans point at me like I’m some sort of festive mascot. ‘Ooh look, a robin! How Christmassy!’ No, Margaret, I’m not Christmassy, I’m COLD, I’m BUSY, and I’m trying not to get eaten by the neighbourhood cat you keep feeding turkey scraps to. And what’s with sticking my face on every card, mug, tea towel, and novelty jumper? I don’t recall signing a merchandising deal! If I had, I’d at least expect a cut of the profits in mealworms. Meanwhile, you lot hang baubles everywhere – which, by the way, look exactly like berries until I smack into them like a twat in front of the whole flock. Very funny. HO HO FUCKING HO. And don’t get me started on the fairy lights. Do you realise how hard it is to sleep when every tree is blinking like it’s trying to communicate with aliens? I’m a bird, not a fucking lighthouse keeper! So yes, merry Christmas to you all. I’ll just be over here, fluffing up my feathers for warmth, dodging fake berries, and trying to maintain some dignity while you use me for seasonal aesthetic. CUNTS!”

This shirt is pure festive rebellion. No syrupy sentiment. No cosy woodland charm. Just the raw, chaotic truth from a bird who’s done being December’s unpaid brand ambassador. Wear it to parties, pubs, chaotic family gatherings, or while dodging Carol singers - wherever you go, it delivers the exact level of seasonal honesty everyone secretly feels but only a furious robin dares to say out loud.