All Aboard The Fuckety Fuck Train Mug

All aboard the most chaotic locomotive ever to grace a bit of crockery. The monkey at the controls is clearly one banana short of a fruit bowl, but somehow he’s keeping the whole safari on schedule. The lion looks mildly traumatised, the zebra’s regretting every life choice that led to this moment, and the giraffe is trying not to take anyone’s eye out with its neck. The rhino’s just here for the noise, the toucan’s acting like it’s above it all, and the bear’s quietly losing faith in public transport.

Trailing behind them, a delicate plume of smoke curls into the sky, except it isn’t smoke at all - it’s a rhythmic, poetic chorus of “FUCKETY FUCK FUCKETY FUCK FUCKETY FUCKETY FUCKETY FUCK”, puffing out with the steady determination of a steam engine that’s long past caring what polite society thinks.

It’s bright, it’s daft, and it’s deeply inappropriate for your nan - but perfect for your desk, your morning brew, or that one colleague who’s permanently five minutes away from a nervous breakdown. Dishwasher safe, emotionally unstable.