Space Hopper T-shirt

At first glance, it’s just an orange T-shirt. But then you notice the face. That strange, joyous, slightly deranged grin you remember from bouncing violently across uneven driveways in your youth. Yes, that very face, now perfectly transplanted onto your torso, like a portal to childhood, inflatable madness, and minor shin injuries.

Slip it on and you become the Space Hopper’s chosen emissary. Dogs will tilt their heads at you in respect. Strangers will recall smells of sun-warmed vinyl and question the boundaries between fashion and toy-based reincarnation. In certain light, the face may even wink, though scientists assure us that’s “impossible” (they said the same about hula hoops and look how that turned out).

Fabric: 100% cotton, 0% helium.
Colour: Orange, obviously.
Mood: Uncanny yet comforting.

Warning: prolonged wearing may induce spontaneous bouncing.