Not a Morning Person Mug

He's immortal.

He's lived through plagues, empires, several centuries of fashion mistakes, and at least one industrial revolution.

None of that's the problem.

The problem is being woken up before he's ready.

This is a man who turns to actual dust in direct sunlight and still, somehow, considers that the less dramatic part of his morning. The cape. The fangs. The centuries of accumulated menace. All of it, completely irrelevant, the second someone opens the curtains too early.

Not a morning person.

Truer words have never been hissed through a pair of fangs.

Fill the mug. Keep your distance. Speak softly until at least midday.