Kitanes T-shirt

Finally, a shirt that says “yes, I am both mysterious and slightly dangerous, but I also nap 19 hours a day.”

Behold: a feline draped in the eternal glory of the French tricolore, cigarette dangling from its whiskered lips, wearing sunglasses so reflective they may actually show you your own regrets. To its side: a pack of Kitanes, the legendary feline cigarette brand whispered about in Parisian alleyways and banned from most veterinary offices.

Features include:

• A fabric so soft it feels like Baudelaire himself gently hissing in your ear
• The undeniable energy of a jazz saxophone solo that never resolves
• A design approved by exactly three French philosophers and one very judgmental tabby

Great for:

• Standing at a bus stop while contemplating the void
• Ordering an espresso with a level of disdain not seen since 1968
• Existing simultaneously as a style icon and a hairball hazard

Material: Cotton, irony, and a faint trace of imaginary Gauloises smoke.

This shirt does not endorse cats smoking cigarettes, unless they are conceptual cats existing only in the fever dream of modern consumerism.