Ian Beale: 100% Beef Mug

Ian Beale has the physique of a man whose primary workout is stress-eating steak bakes and whose idea of cardio is running from his own problems. Yet here he stands, certified beef. Pure muscle. Absolutely ripped. None of this is true, obviously (he's soft as a sofa and twice as depressed) but this mug celebrates the audacity of lying directly to someone's face, which is basically Ian's entire personality anyway. Years of making terrible decisions, marrying the wrong people, and generally resembling a disappointed Yorkshire pudding hasn't stopped him from acting like he's God's gift. So drink your coffee and pretend Ian Beale is hench. He's been pretending to be competent for four decades. Fair's fair.