Festive Snail Christmas Sweatshirt

Wrap your torso in the sort of festive nonsense that turns heads, sparks questions, and possibly convinces strangers you’re the fun one at the party. Front and centre sits a remarkably realistic snail, proudly sporting a Christmas hat as if it’s just finished a shift at Santa’s grotto and is now sliding off for a well-earned sherry. The artwork is so detailed you half expect it to leave a tiny trail of merriment across the fabric.

It’s the perfect blend of cosy seasonal cheer and utterly unnecessary gastropod glamour. Slip it on, stroll out, and enjoy the moment someone realises they’re looking at a snail that’s far more prepared for December than they are.