Contains Mild Peril T-shirt

This is not a warning. It’s a confession wrapped in cotton and plausible deniability. The crossed-out eye sits like a whispered rumour, while the caption below makes a promise: the peril is not out there. It’s you. Not the catastrophic, world-ending kind of peril, oh no. You’re the sort of hazard that knocks over neatly stacked objects just to watch them wobble. The kind that arrives uninvited but brings the best story. The kind that can’t be stopped, only mildly inconvenienced.

Slip it on, and you cease to be a person in a shirt. You become a walking footnote, a polite calamity, a delightful little threat to structural integrity and sensible expectations. The world has been warned. Gently.